is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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