I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
