I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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