I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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