So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
