I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
