would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
