Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
