South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
