Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
