I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
