Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Two words: blizzard sex
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
