i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
