they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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