True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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