This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
