rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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