We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
