Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Are we still banned from the library?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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