he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
and she was petting her beer can
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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