these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
vagina is talking i cant
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
