She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
