I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
