best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
