I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
