Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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