Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
