This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
