Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
