return my video game
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize