...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
