would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
