I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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