living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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