Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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