i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
