Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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