so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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