I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize