youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
