I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
