i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
