Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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