dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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