somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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