before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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