Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
