Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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