It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
