the condom got lost in my hair
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
