Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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