last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
