You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
