I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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