You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
