uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
