Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
