it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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