Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
