so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
